" My Feminist Agenda:
Bear with me here, the word “feminist” usually gets eyes rolling. Heaven knows that, as a kid, I thought “feminist” was for the butch bitches who hated men. Life’s taught me better than to assume feminism is about truncating cocks and the goddess Athena, so this is my feminist agenda:
1. I want the girls to stop pinching their thighs and skipping meals. I found an article a few days back titled “Five Reasons Why You Should Date a Girl With an Eating Disorder.” Now, speaking as a girl who has had plenty of experience with eating disorders, I’ve found that dating people who like their girls “skinny,” “fragile,” and “vulnerable” ends up with their expectations severely unmet. Eating disorder is not pretty, eating disorder is not inexpensive, eating disorder doesn’t make them good in bed. I don’t want the girls to think that the way to get a boy is by practicing turning themselves inside out for him.
2. I’ve got a friend down in Florida who texts me every time a man lays a hand on her. She says “D, please, his palm is on my thigh, and I want to disappear.” I tell her, “Baby, if a boy dares to hurt you, I will hop a plane and make him pay.” Every night we trade stories about the ways we’ve been violated, I wish we didn’t share scars like this. Most days, drawing boundaries is more like breaking diamonds, no gets caught in my throat far too often. I am always stuck in the headspace of surviving.
3. The weak boys are faggots and the butch girls are dykes. Never mind if they actually like the same gender, these are still slurs that are slung around. Even celebrities don’t escape this kind of homophobia – yeah, Neil Patrick Harris hosted the Oscars, but Ellen Page is forsaken and the only lesbians in pop culture are comedians. As much as I love Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow, it’s wrong that a requirement for being human is being funny. If I don’t entertain the homophobes, I guess we can forget about equality, right? Speaking of lesbians, we are not more accepted that gay men, we are just more sexualized – learn the difference. I have had more men ask me if they could watch than ask me if I wanted to marry her. They also ask who the “man” in the relationship is, like love without gender norms is somehow weird. That’s like asking which chopstick is the fork: we’re both chopsticks, my hair’s just shorter than hers.
4. I told someone they should stop making rape jokes and they called me a cunt. They said I was infringing on their freedom of speech. Sorry to be un-American like that, I guess it’s just that one in six women are rape victims and it bothers me. And on the subject of cunt, Hell yeah, I’m a cunt. I will be a cunt until the day I die, don’t you tell me otherwise, this femininity I bear should not scare me, I am a goddess of the highest degree, yeah – I’m a cunt.
5. There are people who will see this poem as crazy, some insecure Lana Del Rey trying to get her say. There are fathers who will go home blind to the plight of their daughters and wives, women who will always believe they are inferior, incorrect pronouns punched into the sides of people born into uncomfortable bodies, “fat” equated with “ugly,” “slut” equated with “stupid.” All these things I would risk my life to change, to see my brothers and sisters be free – if this agenda offends you, ask your mother if she was ever proud to be a woman in this world of rape and war. I will not apologize for fighting with lipsticked mouth and acrylic nails because this battle has not yet been won, and I will soldier through until my last breath.
I am recruiting you today:
even if all our lungs do is ache,
even after the years it will take,
I will fight, I will die, I will try and try and try.
So we’ll go even if the battle’s uphill,
because if we don’t love our women –
who will? "